Writers Anonymous
Jun. 23rd, 2004 03:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stillsostrangeHello. My name is Amanda, and I have a problem.
Besides compulsive book-talking, that is.
I can't write the wrong book. My brain has known this for months, but I'm finally admitting it. This doesn't sound like a bad thing, but if left untreated, can cause me to not write any book.
Nearly everyone I talk to about writer stuff agrees that even if I'm having problems, I should press on and finish a draft. I see the wisdom in this, I really do. But I'm not sure if I can. I'm about half-way through Dreams, and I just caught a few weak plot points. I thought of ways to shore them up and strengthen everything. Yay, right? The problem is, the strengthening causes pretty big changes in certain chapters, which in turn will cause changes in the following chapters, und so weiter und so fort.
At first I thought, okay, great. I'll make notes for the changes but press on and finish this draft. Every since that decision, all the words are pulling teeth. Big nasty teeth from big nasty crocodiles. I can't string more than a few hundred together in order. Because I'm writing the wrong book. The draft that I have 9 1/2 chapters on is no longer the story I'm telling. The words are there, but they're wrong. My brain insists that making more wrong words is a waste of its time. And I can't just start chapter 10 off as if I'd made the changes already, because I haven't. Unless I know exactly what was done and said in the new versions of chapters 7-9, how can I know what's going to be done and said in 10? I just can't, and my subconscious knows it.
So, I'm going to suck it up and start chapter 7 over again. Thank god the changes start at 7, and not 2 or 3. However, since I'm catering to my finicky brain, I will damn well milk it for every possible word every time I sit down with the draft.
And when I start the SA book, by god will I know where I'm going and how to get there before I get halfway done. Or I will cry.
If the pool is clean, I'm swimming tonight. All the words in the world won't make my thighs any thinner.
Besides compulsive book-talking, that is.
I can't write the wrong book. My brain has known this for months, but I'm finally admitting it. This doesn't sound like a bad thing, but if left untreated, can cause me to not write any book.
Nearly everyone I talk to about writer stuff agrees that even if I'm having problems, I should press on and finish a draft. I see the wisdom in this, I really do. But I'm not sure if I can. I'm about half-way through Dreams, and I just caught a few weak plot points. I thought of ways to shore them up and strengthen everything. Yay, right? The problem is, the strengthening causes pretty big changes in certain chapters, which in turn will cause changes in the following chapters, und so weiter und so fort.
At first I thought, okay, great. I'll make notes for the changes but press on and finish this draft. Every since that decision, all the words are pulling teeth. Big nasty teeth from big nasty crocodiles. I can't string more than a few hundred together in order. Because I'm writing the wrong book. The draft that I have 9 1/2 chapters on is no longer the story I'm telling. The words are there, but they're wrong. My brain insists that making more wrong words is a waste of its time. And I can't just start chapter 10 off as if I'd made the changes already, because I haven't. Unless I know exactly what was done and said in the new versions of chapters 7-9, how can I know what's going to be done and said in 10? I just can't, and my subconscious knows it.
So, I'm going to suck it up and start chapter 7 over again. Thank god the changes start at 7, and not 2 or 3. However, since I'm catering to my finicky brain, I will damn well milk it for every possible word every time I sit down with the draft.
And when I start the SA book, by god will I know where I'm going and how to get there before I get halfway done. Or I will cry.
If the pool is clean, I'm swimming tonight. All the words in the world won't make my thighs any thinner.
