I must say you're wrong. Won't you listen to me?

Cod help me, I tried watching the new Criminal Minds/Criminal Waste spin-off thing. Wow, that's bad. There is not an unstilted line of dialogue in the first episode (except possibly Garcia's). The script is so bad Forest Whitaker* can't even breathe! Michael Kelly's character backstory assaults the viewer with stupidity, like being backhanded with a fistful of dumb. Janeane Garofalo, I will buy you a new water heater!

I badly need to watch Ghost Dog and Mystery Men to get this taste out of my mouth.


* An alarming insight into my psyche: The Crying Game has forever conflated Forest Whitaker in cricket whites with orgasm for me. Yeah. Good luck not thinking about that.