Choose the form of your destroyer!

I need to put up some new content for International Pixel-stained Whatsit Day, but I'm not sure which story to use. So I turn to you, people who might actually read it.

[Poll #1388944]

Beware of falling spam

Watch out, I'm on a posting frenzy. But for once my random bitching comes with loldog illustrations!

I'm seeing Funker Vogt tonight, which I hope will be more fun than MBV. I have the problem, however, on having retained enough water overnight to float a yacht, leaving me with no burlap sacks big enough to wear outside. :P I am very cranky about my body's decision to retain water without consulting me.

My problem is much like this: